From nothing to everything

            So as I have stated, I am newly Catholic. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would be the path my life would take. I was raised in a very loving home! I went to church growing up but my family wasn't very invested in it. My mom did always tell us it was very important to pray and talk to God though. For me, as I got older, my relationship with Christ fizzled out.
           When I was in the 6th grade something unexpected happened. I had a niece pass away when she was 5 months old. I was sad. I was angry. I didn't understand why she was taken from me and my family. This was the beginning of a very long downward spiral for me. I was depressed. I felt like I didn't really matter and my group of friends changed so many times through middle in high school. I tried to find validation in worldly things. My self worth was buried in whether or not boys liked me.
          On the outside I always looked like the goodie goodie. I got good grades, I was super involved with clubs, I mostly didn't get in trouble. And, I grew to hate that. I started to drink as a freshmen in high school. I thought it was the cool thing to do. I began to make a lot of mistakes.
          As a sophomore I met one of my best friends that I am still friends with today and she has loved me unconditionally. She was a great influence on me but I still had a long way to fall in order to realize I was searching for love, fullness, and validation in all the wrong places. As a junior almost senior I was in my first serious relationship. We were off and on for over a year and I loved being in what I thought was love with this boy. We made mistakes. And eventually after going to two different colleges we broke up. I was destroyed. I sank intl depression so quickly.
         About this time my best friend and roommate was getting very invested in her Catholic faith. She grew so much before my eyes. She would invite me to go to events with her or Mass and I always made excuses. After a year of her asking and me saying "no" I gave up. I went to a Women's Night at our campus ministry house. The topic was joy. I had never seen so many truly happy and joyful women. They had something I had always desired. I had to learn more. Things moved very quickly after this. I was so confused about what I should do with my life.
          Our school puts on retreats for college students each semester. I decided to go in hopes of learning more about the Catholic church. The experience was so much to put in this post but the main thing happened the second night we were there. We had an hour and a half of adoration and I had never been in adoration before. I didn't know what it was. My best friend and I sat right up front. I didn't know what to expect. Sitting there in front of Jesus for the first time, I knew. I had a rush of feeling I had never known before. I felt full! I knew with everything at that point that I had to be Catholic. There was no option. I was full and truly happy for the first time in a long time! My whole life was changed that night! I cried and cried, tears of pure joy. Jesus reveled himself to me in a big way and I can never turn back!